Struggling with a tough relationship?
Want to know the best ways to make friends or to talk to your crush? Ask Alicia! Send in your questions and dilemmas and Alicia will answer you. All questions are anonymous and personal info is not revealed.
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Dear Alicia,
The table that I sit at never engages me in conversation. I feel ignored and only included when I include myself (e.g. asking someone a question). Not to mention, I feel like we’re not that close friends anymore. Should I move tables?
Lonely Lenard
Dear Lenard,
This is definitely a terrible feeling. But, again, you need to protect your peace! If the table you sit at out of convenience is not treating you like you belong, it’s time for a
change. Lunch should have not only food, but conversation and should serve as a small break in a busy day. Good news is, there are so many other tables in the cafeteria, and even more amazing humans ready to sit with you. If you have another friend to sit with at the same lunch hour, that makes it a lot easier to transition. Talk to your friend and ask if you could sit with them. Otherwise, the library is open during lunchtime, and you just need to sign up (talk to someone in the library). But, if you don’t like any of these options, try talking to administration or the counselors. They can help you find somewhere to go during lunch,or someone to sit with. We don’t want anyone lonely at lunch or sitting alone at MHS.
Hope that helps,
Alicia
Hey Alicia,
My boyfriend has been just a bad boyfriend for a while now- I was giving him a lot emotionally and not receiving anything in return, as well as him being possessive and way too nonchalant. But recently, he started giving me gifts and stuff, and seemingly actually caring about ME. The only problem is, I’ve spent so long thinking about breaking up with him it feels like there’s no other option. I want to break up with him, but at the same time, maybe he’s changing for real this time?
I just don’t know what to do.
Confused Carissa
Dear Carissa,
Uh oh, this guy sounds like bad news! Relationships, especially romantic ones, should be mostly positive. Of course, there will be arguments, and rough patches, but for the most part, you two should get along and reciprocate attention and affection. What it sounds like is he’s taking advantage of you, and not really realizing the difference between a situationship/friends and being a couple. But, you were right to start to think about breaking up. your energy is better used on someone else, and frankly, he doesn’t deserve you. Now, it seems like he must’ve realized that you might want to end things, so he’s trying to make up for lost time or effort. But, if he was being weird like before, he probably will do it again. Dont waste anymore time on this guy, you are better off without him.
Hope that helps,
Alicia
Alicia,
A guy I DO NOT LIKE keeps trying to talk to me all the time. I don’t want to be mean to him because he didn’t do anything, but I think he has a crush on me and it makes me uncomfortable. How do I get him to take a hint ????
Uncomfy Una
Dear Una,
I think a lot of people can relate to this dilemma. And it’s really hard to still be kind, but also reject or tell someone you are not interested. But, the best way to do it is slowly and surely. Step one would be to stop replying so much to him online. Start the text dryer or leave him on opened. You don’t have to block him or anything like that, but this way he’ll get the hint without drastic measures. Next, when he tries to talk to you in person, start to include other people in the convo. with more people talking together, it gives him less opportunities to be personal or make a move. IF you slowly start distancing yourself from him, he should start to fizzle away. IF this all doesn’t work, sometimes it’s good to be blunt. Bring up how you are “talking to someone” in a conversation or refer to him as a friend. If worst comes to worst you can always tell him up front. You got this, protect your peace and always stay true to yourself.
Hope this helps,
Alicia